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                                                                           Wedding Customs & Traditions

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Have you ever wondered where all the things people do during a wedding comes from. Here are your answers. Some of the traditions come from our European Ancestors dating hundreds of years ago.

 

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The Engagement Ring

The engagement ring is a promise of  marriage. During the Roman era, the man had to "barter" for his
future bride. The engagement ring was security for the "betrothed". As time went on, men presented diamond rings to future brides because a ring containing diamonds was considered more valuable than a plain gold band. Thus, it is a stronger promise and offers more security.
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The Bachelor Party
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This was the last chance before his new wife took over the finances, for the groom to gather money by gambling for his own
future use.

The Bridal Shower
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This custom came about when a father disapproved of his daughter's marriage and refused to provide a dowry to the couple. The "shower" became the alternative to the dowry. Supportive villagers would assemble and provide the bride with a variety of household items for her new home.

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This tradition comes from the days of the warring tribes in Europe.  When a bride was to be married there was always assumed that there was a secret suitor hiding close by. The Best man along with the groom who's right hand was free would fight off the intruder. The women would all wear the same dress color in order to confuse the intruder as to which one was the bride. It was also written that in some cases the bride would not be standing next to the groom in order to further confuse the intruder. It was later on that the brides would wear white. The same thing went for the groom. In some cases he would be standing next to the best man so that the intruder would not know who the groom was in order to prevent him from being killed in the attack. Like the women they also wore the same garments.

The Dowry, Hope Chest, and Trousseau
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There was a time when marriage would include some exchange of  property between the families of the bride and groom. The groom's family would pay a price to the bride's family for the bride. The bride's family in turn, would provide the couple with a dowry of  various household items for their new home. As a bride planned for her future marriage, she would supplement this dowry with her own items that she collected or made (i.e. embroidered linens.) All  items would be kept in a special "hope chest", built by the bride's father for the purpose of holding the dowry.

The Trousseau included all the clothing and property which a bride brought with her to the marriage. Today, the trousseau
includes all wedding and shower gifts as well as new purchases.

Wedding Banns
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This is an announcement of an impending wedding in the Catholic Church. This announcement usually takes place for three
consecutive Sundays. Its purpose is to inform the public with enough notice of the pending wedding so if anyone objected to the marriage, they could do so.

The Wedding Ring
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Since the beginning of time, the wedding ring has been a symbol representing a promise for eternal and everlasting love and
the uniting together of the bride and groom. The precious metals show that love is the most precious possession and the unending circle symbolizes a love that may never end. It is placed on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was traditionally believed that this finger was a direct connection to the heart - the perfect place to place a symbol, representing eternal love and commitment.

The Bridal Gown
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There was a time when the bride would wear her favorite dress to the ceremony. In 1840, Queen Victoria wore an elegant all white gown to her wedding. She started a fashion trend which quickly  caught on and continues to this day. White was worn because people believed it represented affluence, virginity, and purity.

The Bridal Veil
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Traditionally, the bridal veil was a symbol of modesty, respect and virginity. The veil served as a reminder to all witnessing the ceremony that the physical relationship was entered into only after the vows were exchanged and the marriage became official with the seal of a kiss. The veil was removed after the vows were exchanged and the couple was pronounced MAN & WIFE.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Each part of this saying holds some form of traditional significance. The old and new items represent the passage from the
single status to the married status. The borrowed item represents the participation and approval of the wedding by family, friends and the community. Something blue is a symbol of purity, love and fidelity. In England, this saying goes on further to include "and a lucky sixpence in your shoe" which brides there still do.

The Bridal Bouquet

Flowers were incorporated into the ceremony because they represent fertility, purity, new life and never ending love.
Traditionally, bouquets were a mixture of flowers and herbs. Dill was a very popular choice as an herb because it was believed to promote lust. Following the ceremony, the dill was eaten for that purpose.

Seating Guests and Family

Traditionally, the bride's family and friends are seated on the left side, the groom's on the right side. The Groomsmen may or may not escort them to their seats, however, the grandparents, and parents are escorted in and the last to be seated in the front rows.

Child Attendants

Children were originally included in the ceremony as a symbol of innocence.

White Aisle Runner

The white aisle runner symbolizes God's holiness and walking on holy ground. It is believed that marriage is not just between two individuals but includes the presence of God who is actively involved in the marriage ceremony.

Processional

The Minister/Officiant and the Groom are first. Traditionally, the Groom will stand to the left next to the
Minister/Officiant (facing family and friends) until the Bride arrives. Next, the Bride's Maids and Groomsmen (Bride's Maids on the left arm of the Groomsmen). Then the Maid or Matron of Honor on the left arm of the Best Man. Followed by the Flower Girl and/or Ring Bearer. And finally, the Bride and her Father or whom ever is giving her away. Again, the Bride on the left arm of that person. That person should remain standing next to the Bride until the Bride is officially "given away" or presented to the Groom. Then he/she should be seated in the front row with his/her family. NOTE: Should
the ceremony site not have a center isle, the processional enters from the left isle and exits from the right isle.

Throwing Rose Petals

The ritual of throwing rose petals before the bride as she walks down the isle was to ward off evil spirits below the ground
and to grant fertility.

Father Giving the Bride Away

This custom originally had its roots in arranged marriages where the bride was considered property. Later, this custom persisted as a symbol with two meanings.

  1. 1. An endorsement by the father to all witnessing the ceremony that the groom is the best choice for his daughter.
     
  2. 2. An offering to the groom that "I am presenting to you my Daughter".

Altar Positioning


This tradition dates back to the time when marriage might take place by capture. By having the bride stand to the grooms left, the groom would have his right hand free for his sword if he needed it for defense. Also, it is customary for the Minister/Officiant to face the family and guests, however, the ceremony can be performed with the Bride and Groom facing family and guests if preferred.

Huppah

 
In the Jewish religion, the ceremony takes place as the couple stands under the ornamental canopy. This canopy symbolizes the nomadic tents of Israel and the new home that the couple will soon share.

Groom Entering The Church First And Exchanging Vows First


Both of these customs signify that the groom is the covenant initiator. Because he is the initiator, he is the first to state his vow of marriage. As the initiator, the groom also assumes the greatest responsibility in the marriage.

Taking Each Other's Right Hand


The open right hand is a symbol of strength, resource and purpose. The coming together of both right hands is a symbol that both the bride and the groom can depend upon each other and the resources that each brings to the marriage. It also represents the merger of their lives together into one.

Breaking The Glass


A Jewish tradition that represents the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem. Many times couples save the pieces of glass from the ceremony in a symbolic box.

Unity Candle


The unity candle is a symbol of family unity. It is a large single candle (representing the newly married couple) that is lit by two individual candles, positioned on either side of the unity candle, each representing the bride's and groom's families, or it can be construed as each individual candles represent the bride and groom individually Often, the two single candles are lit prior to the start of the ceremony by the mothers of both the bride and groom.

Pronouncement of "Man and Wife"


This is the point in time when the marriage becomes official. It is also at this point that the bride officially changes her name.

The Kiss


No ceremony is complete without the kiss. In fact, there was a time when an engagement would be null and void without one. Dating back from early Roman times, the kiss represented a legal bond that sealed all contracts.

Recessional


The Bride and Groom exit first, followed by the Flower Girl and/or Ring Bearer, then the Maid or Matron of Honor and the Best Man, the Bride's Maids and Groomsmen and lastly, by the Minister/Officiant.

Arch Of Swords Following The Ceremony


Walking through the arch of swords following the ceremony was done to ensure the couple's safe passage into their new life together.

Throwing Rice


When thrown as the couple exited the church, this ritual represented the wish for the couple to have a fruitful and plentiful life together. Originally rice and wheat were thrown over the married couple to represent the hope for fertility. Today, bubbles are generally used as rice and balloons (that burst when a certain altitude is reached, then fall to the ground) are considered  harmful to birds and wild life and messy to clean up.

Receiving Line


This is a chance for the guests to congratulate and greet the newly married couple and their parents. You may choose to have the traditional receiving line or escape for a few private moments as husband and wife. Some couples move with their bridal party to a private room, where they have a toast to the bride and groom before joining the other guests. This is also typically a time for taking photographs with the bridal party and family members.

Signing The Wedding Documents And Guest Book


Signing the marriage certificate/documents is the public recording of the marriage. The guest book is a record of all the people who witnessed the wedding. For that reason, the guest book is signed following the official wedding ceremony.

Reception, Food, and Wine

 
The reception is the official celebration of the new couple's marriage. The wedding cake represents the sharing of the bride and groom's body to become one. The drinking of wine symbolizes the sharing of the bride's and groom's life together with God.

Wedding Favors


Wedding favors are mementos of the special occasion given to each wedding guest to thank them for sharing the momentous occasion with the bride and groom.

Tossing The Bridal Bouquet


Tossing the bridal bouquet is a custom which has its roots in England. It was believed that the bride could pass along good fortune to others. In order to obtain this fortune, spectators would try to tear away pieces of the bride's clothing and flowers. In an attempt to get away, the bride would toss her bouquet into the crowd. Tradition says that the single woman who catches the bouquet is the one who received the bride's good fortune and will marry next.

Throwing The Garter Belt

 
This ritual dates back to a time when women wore hose with a garter belt. It was a chance for the single men to share in the good fortune of the groom. Today, it is believed that the man who catches the garter when it is thrown will be the next to marry.

The Grand Exit After The Reception


Traditionally, old shoes were tied to the back of the car to represent the transfer of property from the father of the bride to the groom. Horn honking, along with tying of empty cans,  the shooting off of firecrackers and ringing of bells were a means to protect the bride by warding off evil spirits,

The Honeymoon


This was a chance for the new couple to hide from family and friends for a period of time.

Shivare


This custom dates back to the Middle Ages. A group of friends would gather and bang on pots and pans, shoot off guns, etc. to disturb the newlywed couple on their wedding night.

Carrying The Bride Over The Threshold


This was done to protect the bride from evil spirits which may be hiding beneath the threshold. The groom would carry his beautiful bride to safety and happiness so they could start their new lives together.

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